Two Bois Head off to Save Hyrule

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past 6 months, you’ll know that escape rooms and experiential activities are all the rage. On a Crystal Maze induced comedown two of Fever’s self-entitled “bois” were keen to score their next fix. It just so happens that a new escape game has launched, following from the popularity of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, Real Escape Game’s Defenders of the Triforce is here to throw brave adventurers into the land of Hyrule.

Our two bois adventure began at Fever HQ as they compared notes on key Zelda based facts and lore to ensure that both were up to speed with the franchise’s intricate history. Because we have a roof bar and it’s a shame to waste it, they were to be found upstairs tossing back beers and G&Ts claiming it was “smart juice” as they gesticulated about the “bad man” called Ganondalf.

After a couple of rounds it was time to set off on their adventure, summoning the most noble of steeds, the Victoria line, they were whisked off to their destination. All the while avoiding eye contact with any of the hoi polloi and trying not to be sandwiched against the throngs of sweaty, bag laden tourists.

They emerged from the underground depths gasping for clean air and squinting into the bright daylight that met them. They were late. “That’ll be the last round that did that,” one said to the other. Nevertheless off they went, printed e-ticket in hand.

Upon arrival to the venue they were met by various attendees in costume. They hadn’t realised this was a fancy dress type thing. Shit. Thankfully, sock like hats were thrust upon them and they were transported to the land of Hyrule. However, they weren’t allowed to talk, run or make loud noises as there was a middle aged gentleman wildly explaining the evenings plan and activity; he was wearing tights. The bois were worried.

Ushered to their “team” – we’d be lying if we told you they still remembered their names – the night began and pleasantries exchanged. Surrounded by costumed fans and event ushers a-like, they realised they were out of their depth and quite a few too many gins gone.

What happened next was a whirlwind of activity, solving challenges and quests, visiting members of each of the game’s tribes in their respective domains to appease and ultimately gain the power they needed to save Hyrule. That’s what was alluded to, in reality they filled out some activity sheets and spoke to some cantankerous acting students that were in awe of the bloke wearing tights on the stage. Sadly, the bois never completed the task. Leaving Mr. Sword firmly in the stone and the bitter taste of defeat in their mouths, although in fairness that could have just been the odour of a room full of nerds in costumes. Anyway, they left for their next great adventure – the pub.

NOTE FROM EDITOR: we’re not entirely sure what this is about either, but we went with it


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